November 2007

Splendid Weekend Reads [ShoeBlitz - Shoe Fashions]

Here are the week’s best posts from our Splendicity members.

Beauty

Beauty Secrets Revealed announces a spectacular contest that she will be running soon.

Savvy Skin reviews the new book Beauty Junkies.

Spa Beautifully shows us how to do our own at home facial.

Beauty and Fashion Tech is giving away MAC’s Antiquitease Collection.

Viva Woman reviews Keys Solar Rx.

Temptalia has a thorough review of the MAC Curiositease Collection.

Fashion

Petite Fashionista shows us how to spice up our wardrobe.

Painfully Hip has some of the most outrageous street styles on the web.

CelebLOOK takes a look back through the celebrity looks of the month.

Style…A Work in Progress has a problem that not even the best doctor can cure.

Her Accessories shows us her favorite Cocktail Ring, perfect for the upcoming Christmas parties.

All That and A… crushes on this Tango and Valssi purse.

Indie Style File points us to this Bon&Ging Skirt.

Shopping

The Latest Luxe has her eye on this Tribal Spy Bag from Fendi.

Shoe Blitz lists her shoes that she says are divine and down to Earth.

Shopalicious has us lusting over this pendant from SpoonFedArt.

Layas Eye has us all eyeing this Hayden Harnett bag.

Adventures in the Stiletto Jungle shares with us a great deal on this Kenneth Jay Lane beauty.

NY $pender shares with us some warm winter coat picks.

Shop Diary is giving away the must-read The Little Black Book of Style.

beauty, beauty tips, fashion, fashion advice, shoes, shopping, shopping advice, splendicity

Source: Splendid Weekend Reads [ShoeBlitz - Shoe Fashions]

The Really Unmentionable: A Back-Door Banging Primer & Poll [Polls]

When Pillhead IM’d me a couple of days ago to ask for a comment for her fabulous piece (no pun intended), it got me thinking about that idiot guy and his fascination/obsession with anal sex. To a degree, no matter how much women will dish on vaginal intercourse and cunnilingus, there are very few of women that are willing to go on record about what they like about (and how to have fulfilling) anal sex. Which is why, when I need to get information on the subject, I have to either get my girlfriends really, really drunk or ask a gay friend — which always goes ever so well. Their thoughts, and a poll, are after the jump.

Because, I have to confess, I am an ass-virgin. I haven’t ever had a long-term relationship with someone experienced in the art of anal pleasure (at least, I’m reliably told it can be pleasurable) and the one guy I dated who expressed an particular interest tried the timeworn tactic of telling me that I’d like it “once I got used to it” and then insulted me to try to change my mind. My response to that was that if I could have pleasurable sex or painful/uncomfortable sex until I got “used to it,” I was pretty well going to opt for “pleasurable” every time, thanks. He thought I was selfish, I thought he was an ass-obsessed pig, and things didn’t work out.

But, anyway, so when I told a couple of close girl friends about my ass-virginity over a few bottles of wine a few weeks ago, both expressed shock and amazement that I (of all people) had never done it, and proceeded to tell me how much they liked it under certain circumstances… and then they both clammed the fuck up. I didn’t learn anything from either of them that I didn’t already know despite the booze. So, I surveyed my gay friends, who are much more talkative and less circumspect about the finer points of ass-fucking, as well as hilarious pseudonym-choosers.

“Chad Dandylion” told me that “the rules are the same [as for vaginal intercourse] — it needs proper preparation, and if it’s your first few times, a very gentle touch.” Below, “Chad’s” 10, uh, tips for the uninitiated:

• 1) Make sure you don’t have diarrhea or anything else that makes you shit a lot and leaves the anus inflamed
• 2) Don’t eat roughage at least 24 hours beforehand
• 3) Give yourself an enema with lukewarm water
• 4) MAKE HIM EAT OUT YOUR ASS FOR SEVERAL MINUTES. This relaxes the ring of muscle, acclimates you to the sensation of having something probing your hole, and also happens to feel really really really good
• 5) Use lube, not spit. make sure the lube is latex-safe
• 6) If it’s your first time, make him go slow, make him be gentle. if you get startled, you can clench, which hurts at first, or if he’s rough he could accidentally do some damage
• 7) When he pushes inside, push back like you’re taking a shit — this opens up the anus and makes the initial penetration easier
• if you’re not being a total whore and taking it doggy-style, sitting on him is easiest, because then you can control the speed at which you get opened up
• 9) You control the pace, unless you’re a submissive bitch and then you let him pound you till your eyes roll back
• 10) Be vocal, give him hints as to what feels good and what doesn’t. If you like him teasing your hole by pulling out to the head then pushing back in all the way, tell him that. If you like him mostly in and skooching it around, tell him that. Remember: as the bottom you are, ultimately, in control. Unless you don’t want to be.

Since some of that didn’t sound so terrible (except for maybe the enema thing, and the eyes-rolling-back thing), I figured I would ask another gay friend of mine for his advice because the more the better, right? “Chance” told me that his only real advice was not to let a Marine fuck me up the ass, because some “straight” jarhead came over and fucked him with so little grace and lube that he ended up having to get the inside of his asshole stitched back together at the hospital the next morning and then learned what a panty liner was.

I think I’m going to stop asking now. Well, except for this little poll.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you’re viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Source: The Really Unmentionable: A Back-Door Banging Primer & Poll [Polls]

Glamour Throws A Party For Mariane Pearl, Sex Slaves [Party Report]

Glamour held a book party for columnist and famous widow Mariane Pearl, whose Wall Street Journal-reporter husband was abducted and beheaded by terrorists who taped the whole thing in 2002, last night. No photographers were allowed, so instead of fumbling around frantically writing down the names of people Nikola was shooting I was free to talk amongst the approximately 47 media clusterfuck types present and get drunk. This was nice, because my “soul” has gotten a little weary from constantly mocking Glamour and also, because I wrote a post once about how Mariane Pearl is an unfortunately bad writer I had flattered myself into maybe thinking she had read it. But before I could find my designated media cluster, I noticed three women in flowing garments that did not appear to have been purchased at H&M and/or Saks. I assumed that they were friends of Mariane, who has made it her business since her husband’s gruesome murder to try and publicize women in other countries with even more tragic life stories they have overcome to nevertheless Make A Difference, etc. “Where are you from?” I asked one. “Cambodia,” she replied.

“Really? Did you grow up there?” I asked. “My friend used to live there and he said he had to leave because it was too depressing, even the NGO workers were fucking 12-year-olds.”

“Oh, now it’s most popular to have sex with 7- and 8-year-olds,” she said. “They like them younger because they think they won’t have AIDS.”

Whoa.

“Anyway, my family left in 1981, after Pol Pot, and moved to Australia, but I came back in 1992,” she replied calmly.

“Was anyone in your family killed?” I asked.

“Yes, they came and got my father, and killed him.”

At which point my phone began to ring, for the seventeenth time. It was another media clusterfuck person who could not find the location of the party. “Excuse me,” I said. She smiled and slipped me her card. My phone does not work very well, so the conversation took longer than it should have, and by the time it was finished the NGO worker, who rescues young girls from sex slavery, had slipped off. I sat beside a media person.

“Are you covering this?” I asked.

“Probably not,” the person said. “I mean, Mariane Pearl is not exactly a boldface name.”

“But Angelina Jolie played her in the movie!”

“Yeah, but nobody saw that movie.”

It was true. In a town in which being a boldface name requires spending a lot of time getting party pictures taken of you to reinforce your boldface namedom, Mariane Pearl, who had logged, according to an introduction by Glamour editor-in-chief Cindi Lieve, 100,000 miles of air travel in her year reporting from hellholes (Uganda! Liberia! Hong Kong!) for the magazine, did not really rank anymore. The space was small, and the book, while produced by the esteemed publisher of the memoir of a graffiti artist friend of mine, seemed like more of a vanity project than an actual literary endeavor. To her credit, Mariane looked really hot, in red lipstick and a pair of wedges. Thandie Newton would have made much more sense playing her in the movie. I had a third glass of wine and then some other stuff happened and then I went to the bathroom.

I saw another lady I recognized as one of the Cambodians; Somaly Mam. (Her name was confusing, because Mariane Pearl had maybe also gone to Somalia, but most people figured it out fast.) Somaly had started an NGO to rescue young people from sex slavery after somehow figuring out how to escape from sex slavery herself. I said something like, “Tell me about how your parents sold you into prostitution.”

“It’s hard, to talk about your life,” she said.

“How old are you?” I pressed.

“I don’t know,” she said.

“When did you get out of prostitution?”

“I don’t know, really” she said.

“How did you meet Mariane?”

“Well it was crazy, because right when we met was when my daughter had been abducted and kidnapped, so all I remember was trying to get her back.”

At that moment someone came out of the bathroom and Somaly stood up to use it. I figured out from Mariane’s book what she was talking about later: Somaly doesn’t know where she was born or who her parents were because she was basically born a slave. (Cambodia killed a third of its population in the seventies and they tended to go after anyone who could read so that might have something to do with it.) Like I said, Mariane is not that evocative a writer — she could actually use help from whoever wrote Jenna Bush’s book — and the details are fuzzy, which is a shame, because once you slog through it you’re like, Holy Shit, what a Horrific Yet Unbelievably Compelling Story DETAILS PLEASE!

But anyway, the basics:

Somaly was sold into prostitution that she eventually escaped “with the help of an aid worker” and married a French citizen and started an organization to help women get out of prostitution at some point in time that is not clear from the story. In the midst of divorcing the French guy for unspecified reasons, one of three children, a 14-year-old daughter named Ning, was kidnapped by a family friend and taken to Battambang, a province near Thailand, where whores can make more money, and raped by three guys. The police, however, tracked her down, and Mariane was there the whole time.

Also in Cambodia one of the ways they apparently prepare youngsters for whoredom is they put hot chiles up little girl’s vaginas.

Source: Glamour Throws A Party For Mariane Pearl, Sex Slaves [Party Report]

Heather Mills Calls Stella McCartney Crazy; Pot, Meet Kettle [Fashion Victims]

Stella McCartney: Lover of animals, of macrobiotic eating, of pineapple print bathing suits… And wrecking other people’s lives? So says Heather Mills, who, as you can’t avoid hearing about, is going through, like, the worst divorce ever with Stella’s dad, former Beatle Paul McCartney. Claims Mills, “Every single week Stella tried to break up our marriage. She was so jealous…. Stella wasn’t interested in her dad’s happiness. I can’t protect her any longer… She’s done some evil, evil things… We found out she scraped my face out a photo when they were in psychiatric session together”. Well, that doesn’t sound very earthy crunchy hippie holistic, now does it?!

But Stella is not the one who’s turned to the media to unleash her hate. Isn’t it crazier that Heather Mills is pouring her heart out to the press? We imagine it must be hard when your dad remarries a younger woman, and you’re not exactly sure of her, how do you say?, “motives.” Don’t get us wrong, we’re suspect of anyone who claims to be bffs with Gwyneth Paltrow, but we think we’re on Team Stella this time. Stella don’t need her daddy’s millions — she has parlayed his name into a fortune of her own, thankyouverymuch. And if Mills’ allegations are true, well, then, it sounds like Stella knows a crazy bitch when she sees one.

Heather Mills: ‘Stella Is A Major Reason My Marriage Ended’ [ExtraTV.com]

Source: Heather Mills Calls Stella McCartney Crazy; Pot, Meet Kettle [Fashion Victims]

FW07 Trend: Ankle Boots I -the Basic Ones

As you may have noticed Barneys Girl and I haven’t blogged a lot about fashion trends recently. Mostly, it’s because we haven’t been particularly inspired. Doesn’t it seem like you can wear last FW’s clothes and still seem fashionable this season? There is one trend that we have been loving from last season and it continues this season -the ankle boots.

I’m not a particularly exciting person and I like to know that I can use my expensive shoes (my so-called investment items,) over and over again, so after searching for two seasons, I finally found my perfect pair of boots. I love the shape and the leather is so gorgeous. They’re comfortable too (-Prada). Obviously they would be more practical if they weren’t so high-heeled, but I guess it’s time I learn how to walk in high heels!The other pair that I am loving this season are these Aldo boots (right). They look suspiciously like the pair of Louboutins (left) I was drooling over last FW. I love the Aldo pair so much that I’ve tried them on in LA and Chicago, but I didn’t get them because I had already bought the first pair by then. They are so easy to put on, plus they cost only 100usd! While browsing on the Aldo website I noticed this pair of boots. I realise that not everyone has adapted to the recent round-toe shoe trend, so this is for those who still like pointy shoes. Meet this year’s Louboutins, the Metallika. It looks like leather wrapped artistically around feet!These Gucci boots are such stylish winter boots. (I feel warm and fuzzy and stylish just by looking at them!) I’m not a big fan of suede (esp since it rains so much in London,) but this brown is such a fantastic shade.Even though I don’t like that the zippers are in the front of these KG boots, I like the shape of the toe area. You see the way it hooks up? It reminds me of this season’s Stella McCartney pumps that I’ve been staring at over at Net-a-Porter. And finally, this season’s major trend -patent leather. Shiny, patent leather risks the possiblity of looking tacky, but this pair is just classy. Sigh, isn’t this pair of Miu Miu so gorgeous?These basic boots are perfect for almost all outfits. They can go with jeans, pants and even mini-dresses/ skirts, so they’re a must-buy for this season, (that is if you didn’t buy a pair last season!)Image credits: www.net-a-porter.com, www.aldoshoes.com, www.kurtgeiger.com, www.saksfifthavenue.com

Source: FW07 Trend: Ankle Boots I -the Basic Ones

Cleanliness is next to Godliness [Pretty by Nature]

I love products that are multi-purpose. I highly recommend that every household should have Dr. Bronner’s 18-in-1 Pure Castille Soap. The Hemp Almond smells heavenly and works into the creamiest lather. I use it as a body wash and on my son who has sensitive skin. Dilute it with some water and it makes a great hand wash. You can use the peppermint for household cleaning. Drop 2 tablespoons in a gallon of water. Add two cups of distilled white vinegar and you have the perfect all purpose cleaner. What could possibly be better than a soap that can give you soft, clean skin and clean your tub?

 The ingredients are simple and natural. It’s vegan and now packaged in 100% post- consumer recycled bottles. It lists many more uses than I have tried, it really is amazing. I’m curious to see what this soap can’t do. Plus the completely bizarre text on the bottle is not to be overlooked, it is quite entertaining.

Eco Friendly, organic ingredients, Skin Care, Uncategorized, vegan

Source: Cleanliness is next to Godliness [Pretty by Nature]

Our Sponsors Remind You To Turn Back Your Clocks [Sponsors]

It’s Friday, and time to congratulate yourselves for getting through another week! After all the horrifying Halloween hijinks, we weren’t sure we’d make it. Actually, we knew we’d be fine, cuz we’re strong like that. But as always, none of this would be possible without our generous sponsors. We’d like to thank Bravo, Current TV, Project Runway and Uwishunu.com. And hey, don’t forget to fall back! Interested in sponsoring the timeless power o’ Jezebel? Click here.

Source: Our Sponsors Remind You To Turn Back Your Clocks [Sponsors]